Mental Health Issues

I received some very shocking news today that I need to write about in order to help me process. A coworker of mine whom I love dearly, and who also taught my daughter, was arrested and charged for a very serious crime. Let me first of all say this, I am not saying she should not pay for her actions. She needs to be held accountable, and I am all for the justice system deciding what the consequences should be. What's really been hurtful are the comments that have been made on social media by parents and students alike about mental health and how teachers are chosen to teach.

First of all, this teacher did teach health, and she clearly had mental health issues. However, who doesn't? Especially a teacher or any parents? I would love to meet anyone who is involved with kids in any way who is not dealing with mental health issues.

Second, mental health issues are a disease. I deal with anxiety and depression daily. I have been on medication for the last fifteen years to help combat my depression and anxiety. I see a therapist periodically as well because I know that prescription drugs do not solve the problem. However, therapy doesn't solve the problem either. I am going to be dealing with anxiety and depression until the day I die. It is a genetic trait that I have inherited, and fortunately, my doctor saw it early on and took the steps needed to help me. I have attempted suicide in the past; I have wanted to lock myself in my room at times and never come out. I've wanted to scream and yell at the top of my lungs just to get it out. There have even been times when I have thrown things (kitchen glasses or dishes) and broken them to help me feel better. When I get to this point, I always have to apologize to my family because I know I am not in my right mind. They know I am not in my right mind. That being said, I can't always tell when a breakdown is going to happen. I may have nothing at all going on in my life to cause me stress, and I breakdown. I withdraw; I get angry; I cry; I do things that I usually regret afterwards. Again, I do these things because I am not in my right mind.

However, does my mental illness make me a bad person? Should I not be teaching because I have mental health issues? Should I stay at home and lock myself away for the rest of my life? According to many comments that have been made that is exactly what I should do. I should no longer be teaching, and I cannot be trusted with my students. This teacher friend of mine did not commit the crime at the school. But because she is a school teacher should she have been teaching at all? Should she have quit her job as soon as she learned about her mental health illness? If that's the case I never would have taught past my first two years.

My whole point is, we don't know the complete story. None of us were there when it happened. None of us know what went on except for her and the victim. I truly wish that as a world we would react with sympathy and love more than judgement and blame. My heart is shattered because my friend's family and children are suffering as are the victim's family. There are people involved who will never recover from this, yet the community I live in is blaming it on the system and stating that this means we need background checks more often. Even after our principal explained today that when something like this happens the police and individuals charged are supposed to notify the school, and after a letter was sent out to parents explaining the situation, there are still people stating that our system is broken. I'm just heartbroken to see that a community I love and grew up in is more worried about the system than they are worried about the children. I am more worried about the students who left my room today in tears because they couldn't process the information. I am more worried about the victim's family who will never be able to recover. I am more worried about my friend and her family who will never be able to go back and undo what has been done.

I'm asking for more sympathy and kindness. Our school system isn't perfect, and yes, there are things that could have been done prior to the events of this past weekend, but please don't assume that just because someone is struggling with mental illness means that your children are not safe around them. In all reality, we are around people everyday who are struggling. Unless we all lock ourselves away in our individual homes, we are going to be around people who struggle with mental illness. Is that what we want to teach our children?  We do not know each individual's struggles; we do not know what each individual person is thinking or feeling.  I just know that for me, I'm going to try and follow the advice my grandpa gave before he passed away: "Never judge a man until you've walked around in his moccasins."

My prayers go out to all involved in this tragedy. I pray that the victim's family will find peace. I pray that my friend will be able to live with the consequences of her actions. I pray that her children and other family members will find peace. Most of all I pray that my students will know that even though a person may be dealing with mental health issues, it doesn't mean that they are evil at heart.