stressed!

The new school year has been on us now for almost eight weeks, and I just can't believe how fast it is going by.  I started to stress probably the night before school started on August 20, and I don't think the stress has left at all.  In fact, I know that it hasn't.  I've struggled with health issues since the start of the year, and the only explanation the doctor can give me is that it must be due to stress.  Wonderful!  How does a full-time teacher and mother of four get rid of stress?  I don't know, but if I ever find the answer, I will let you know.

In the meantime, I am enjoying my students, and I love the fun conversations we have in class.  This year I have the opportunity of teaching English Language Development, and it is the class I stress the most about, but it is the one I look forward to as well.  There are twelve students in the class, and ten are from Mexico.  I love to tell them I don't understand Spanish when they are speaking Spanish, and they laugh because I say it in Spanish to them.  My other two students are from Brazil, and fortunately, they understand enough to laugh at our jokes as well.  The best lesson I think we had in there so far was the day I took them to 7-Eleven to identify nouns.  They were so great!  They actually did the assignment I gave them because they wanted to` leave the school and do something different.  The funniest day we had was when our newest student arrived from Mexico.  I had the other students take turns telling him their names and where they were born.  Daniel (my joker) told him, "I'm Daniel, and I was born in the hospital."  I laughed so hard I cried!  Daniel is still struggling with forming complete sentences in English, but he knows how to have a good time, and he knows how to make us laugh.

With a class of twelve students, you think it would be my easiest, but it isn't.  I stress daily about what I am going to teach them and how well they will do with the assignments.  I am fortunate in that the district has purchased textbooks on various levels for each of the students, but that means I am preparing four different levels every other day for these students.  I've tried to have them work in groups, and I've tried to do it together as a whole class, and I've tried to have them work individually.  They still aren't getting it.  So, after today, when they asked if we could just have a free day, and I gave in because it was the last day before Fall break, I decided that I just can't prepare for four different levels any more.  I'm not sure what I am going to do, but somehow, I will be having all of them doing the same thing at the same time.  It will help them feel united, and it will keep my stress level down (I hope).

Now Fall break is here, and as I left the school today, I left thinking about my ELD students.  What can I do to get them all on the same level, but help them to develop as individuals and not hold them back as well?  Will they enjoy what I do with them or will they hate it?  I'm stressing about it, and I am supposed to have a four day vacation.  So, I've decided that I will spend some time thinking about them this weekend, and possibly plan a couple of novel units for them, but I will also try to relax and not stress.  In the end, I know the stress is all worth it, and I will continue to love my students and my job.

constantly amazed

As the school year comes to an end, I have to post about the amazement I feel each day.  The first thing that amazes me is how much my students give to their education.  Sure, I have students who don't care at all, but for the most part, my students want to learn and want to succeed.  I have seen this over and over again this past year.  Today was the last full day of school before graduation practice and graduation, and there were students in my room all day making sure that they had the grades they wanted, and some were making sure they would graduate.  One senior approached me in the hall, and he told me he was one-eighth of a credit away from graduating.  He wanted to know if I had any work he could do to make up that credit from 9th grade English.  I took him to my classroom, gave him a packet on Romeo and Juliet, and he finished the packet to make sure he could graduate.  He had told me previously that he would stay until midnight if he needed to since no other teachers were helping him out, and he would do any thing to make sure that he could graduate with his classmates on Thursday.  He returned later in the day just before I left to tell me he didn't need the work, and it was actually a different class he was short credit in.  Sometimes the counselors aren't clear on what students need to do; I felt bad that he had put in such effort for credit he didn't need, but I was proud of him for taking the initiative to do what he needed to do to graduate.

The second thing that amazes me is my own children.   Their dance festival was at their school today, and I was able to sneak away to see them dance.  When I approached my autistic son, he said, "How did you get here?"  I have been there every year to watch them dance, but they never expect me to be there.  They understand that I have a job, and they are very accepting of the fact that I can't always be with them because of my job.  They also amaze me because they work so hard to learn and succeed as well.  My eleven-year-old was worried the other day because she is getting a B+ in math, and she feels that she should not get anything below an A.  I reassured her that a B+ is more than okay, but I was proud of her for setting high expectations for herself.

The third thing that amazes me is how much parents care about their students.  Some almost care too much.  One parent waited until today (two days after my deadline for all work) to come in and argue with me about the fact that his son had an A-, and he should have an A.  I ended up in tears after the meeting, and I caved and excused his son from the assignment just to please the dad, but his son still had an A- in the end.  I was very frustrated that the whole situation had even happened, and I went so far as telling the administration that I don't want to teach the honors courses any more.  Of course, they reassured me that I am doing the right thing, and I am a good teacher, but it was still a crappy ordeal.  However, when it came down to it, the dad only came in because he cares.  He wants the best for his student, and he has high expectations for his children.  I only hope that the son appreciates all of the caring that has gone into his education this far, and that he doesn't rely on Dad to come in every time he has an A- to get him an A.

Anyway, there will always be amazing things in my profession, and I am sure that I will never cease to be amazed.  I am proud of my students, and I am glad that I am a teacher.  I love my job, and I wouldn't trade it for all the money in the world.

extremely tired

This last week was the end of the term, and I actually stuck to my deadline of all work was due one week before the end of the term with no exceptions.  Amazingly, it worked, and on Friday, the last day of the term, all work was in and the grades were finished.  Of course, I still had a couple of changes to make over the weekend, but it was definitely not as stressful as it usually is at the end of the term.

However, for some reason, I have been extremely worn out since then.  I actually ended up with a migraine headache on Monday, and I spent the day in bed because I did not sleep at all the night before.  Today was spent playing catch-up because I had a sub, but again, it wasn't that stressful because my sub actually followed the lesson plans.  So, why did I come home this afternoon and sleep for three hours?  The only explanation I can give is that my body is ready for spring break one week before it is actually spring break, or I am actually always this tired, and teaching full-time and raising four kids is taking its toll.  I love my job, and I love my kids, but teaching is definitely not a career you should choose if you want to sleep.  I joke around that I sleep for a sport, but lately, I fall asleep anywhere.  I was actually rocking my baby to sleep for his nap this afternoon, and I fell asleep while holding him.  I'm pretty sure that he fell asleep after I did, but he let me hold him in my sleep and was content to just be there with me.  So, for those of you who are thinking of becoming teachers take my advice and get into a routine now.  Go to bed early, and get up early.   If you end up with a family later on, make sure you keep them on the same routine so you don't end up like me; falling asleep every time you sit down.

criticized unfairly

I really try to not let what parents say bother me, but I have had a hard time this past week.  Maybe part of it is that I doubt my decisions as it is, and when parents criticize what I decide to do in the classroom, it makes it even worse.  I am currently teaching The Taming of the Shrew to my classes, and I know how important it is for students to view Shakespeare rather than just read it.  It also helps a lot when they can see it put in more modern terms, and they can relate to the story as if they would experience it in modern times.  Also, part of the core is that students be able to analyze how other authors interpret and use Shakespeare's themes and works.  With that in mind, I went to the assistant principal and asked if he thought I could show 10 Things I Hate About You which is rated PG-13.  He told me that I could, but just to be safe to send home a permission slip.  I did, and I explained the reasons for watching the movie in class on the permission slip, and I explained that if parents did not want their students to see the movie, then they would be given an alternate assignment in the computer lab.  Since then, a parent told me about the Clearplay DVD player, and I purchased one out of my personal money so I could show the movie to my students without having to worry about whether or not I would be able to skip the parts that I felt were inappropriate.  All I asked for was a simple yes or no and a parent signature.  Since then, I have had two parents who have criticized me on the permission slip or in emails.  I've tried to let it go, but I feel like I am being judged, and they are telling me that I am leading their children to hell by showing this movie to them.  Part of this is due to the fact that one parent who criticized and told me I am "stooping to the gutter" is a librarian, and all that parent had to do was say no he/she did not want his/her student in the classroom on those days.  This parent also told me that this movie is not appropriate for our community, and I really wanted to ask who made him/her the judge for everyone in the community?  Do parents really think that I would choose to watch a movie in my classroom just to expose their children to inappropriate materials?  I am not trying to be Satan's tool and lead the students to hell.  I simply want my students to be able to understand Shakespeare and see how his writings and themes are still relevant today.  I hope that they learn from what we read and view in class; I am not there to simply entertain.  I wish that I would have had the guts to send these parents the following article about what teachers would like to hear from parents instead of the criticism we hear all of the time.  Instead of doing that, I will post the link here, and if you like you can read it.  The next time you speak to a teacher, please do not be so quick to judge and tell us that we are evil.  We are professionals, and we deserve to be treated as such.  If you have an issue with what I am doing in my classroom, please read the materials I send home, and be aware that I do have a purpose for all that I do.  I definitely don't get paid to entertain.  If I wanted to do that, I would be working in Hollywood or Las Vegas, not in the public school system.

http://www.cnn.com/2011/09/06/living/teachers-want-to-tell-parents/index.html

Beating a Dead Horse

I used to never understand the phrase "Beating a dead horse", but since I have been teaching, I get it.  This past week, book reports were due in my class.  The students received the instructions the first week of school along with all of the due dates for the year.  I also showed them how to complete the report in MLA format, and also, how to Google directions for MLA.  Along with that,  I created two book report examples and read through them with all of my classes.  You would think that after all of this preparation and completing four book reports previously, my students would have it down.  How wrong that thought is!

On Monday and Tuesday (the days before book reports were due), I showed the examples to my students again, and we discussed MLA format.  I thought for sure this time I would be able to read the book reports and see that the format was perfect for every report.  Wrong!  At least ten in each class period had the format wrong, and I kept telling people, "I'm beating a dead horse."  I even went in to colleagues and asked them how I could better teach MLA format to my students.  They had no idea, but they kept telling me to beat the dead horse because eventually the students will get it.  I just hope that they do.  I guess even if only 20 in each class get it then it is worth it, and I keep beating the dead horse in hopes that the other 10 who didn't get it right will get it right next time.  Or, they will finally catch on their junior or senior year, or maybe even when they get to college.  I have to keep my hopes up, and I have to remember that sometimes beating a dead horse will get results, eventually.

Today I am a cheerleader.

We just got home from Parent/Teacher Conferences for our three children who are in elementary school.  Each of their teachers let us know how wonderful our children are, and they also told us that our children bring a lot to the classroom.  I was very proud as a parent, and I felt that I should have my cheerleader hat on, but cheerleaders don't wear hats, so maybe I should say I got out my pom-poms.  Anyway, I thought of how proud I am of my children, but also how I have to cheer for my students as well, even if sometimes that is hard to do.

As my daughter's teacher was telling us how great our daughter is, she also mentioned how hard the conferences can be for teachers because we have to be honest with the parents and students.  Sometimes we have to say, "You need to do the homework," or "Coming to class would be helpful."  I thought about that, and I thought about how I dread Parent/Teacher conferences as a teacher because I don't want any one to criticize me, and I don't want to tell my students that they aren't doing a good job.  I want it all to be positive; I want to keep cheering for the team, even if they are losing, and they will continue to lose.  But, my daughter's teacher was right.  As teachers, we have to be honest, and when parents ask why their students are failing, we have to put the pom-poms down, and sometimes tell them that their student isn't putting forth his/her best effort.  

You might think that teachers enjoy criticizing their students, but we really don't.   I want my students to feel that they are successful, and I want them to know that they can do anything that they put their mind to.  I want to be a cheerleader all of the time, and I appreciate my children's teachers for being the cheerleaders they are.  I know that it can be extremely tough to keep cheering, and I thought tonight of how cheerleaders must feel when they see their team losing, but they have to keep cheering.  So, next week when it is my turn to be the cheerleader (teacher) at Parent/Teacher Conferences, I will do my best to keep my pom-poms out and a smile on my face, and I will keep cheering for my students even when I have to be honest and admit that they could put more energy into the game.

Write About What You Know

I have never really blogged before, but because I am a teacher, and I tell my students they should write, then I have felt strongly that I should write as well.  Of course, then the thoughts started about what I should write about.  I could write about my family, but not everyone wants to know about my family; I could write about the crazy dreams I have, but too often, they just end with no resolution; or I could write about my daily life and hope that someday maybe my great-grandkids will read it and get to know me.  However, all of these ideas just kind of fizzled out, and the thought that kept coming to my mind was to write about what I know.  After all, growing up and through all of my college courses, and author visits, and discussions with friends about what I would write if I ever wrote any thing, the advice was to write about what you know.  So, I have decided to write about what I know, and what I know is teaching.

From the time I was in the second grade, I knew that I wanted to be a teacher.  I would line my dolls up on the side of my bed, and we would have story time.  I had roll books and grade books for my paper dolls, and yes, I kept actual grades for them in those books.  When I played with my Barbie dolls, I always had at least one of them who was going to school to be a teacher or who was a teacher for the other dolls.  It was in my blood!  My parents could hear me reading out loud to my dolls when I was upstairs in my room, and they were downstairs in the kitchen.  I was meant to be a teacher!
Then I entered my freshman year of college, and I had a professor who told me that my analysis of all of the literature we read in class was wrong because I did not agree with his point of view.  I dropped my major of English teaching, and I graduated with an Associates Degree with an emphasis in Humanities.  I didn't know what I wanted to do any more.  I knew that if I had to be like that professor and tell my students they were wrong because they didn't agree with me, then I did not want to teach.
Fortunately, I went on to a four year university afterwards, and I revisited my teachers from junior high and high school, and they helped to remind me of the reasons why I wanted to teach in the first place.  I also served a full-time mission for the LDS church, and I remembered how great it was to help other people ask questions and find the answers to their questions.  After my mission I returned home and I graduated with a degree in English teaching and a minor in Spanish teaching.
Since then, I have taught for 13 years.  Somedays it feels like it has only been one year and other days it feels like it has been 30.  I joke with my colleagues that I need to retire, and there really are some days/weeks when I think that I should.  You see, when they prepare you to teach, they don't really prepare you to teach.  Sure, they teach you the various strategies you need to know, and they warn you about how it will be tough, but you really don't know how tough it is until you're actually teaching in your own classroom.  They say that teachers wear many hats, and the more I teach, the more I know how true this is.  One day, I am a teacher, explaining the essential elements of the core curriculum for language arts; another day, I am a counselor who listens or reads about all of the problems that are happening at home and with boyfriends and girlfriends; on yet another day, I may be a second mom to that student who just didn't have time to eat in the morning, and he/she needs something to keep them going through the day.  So, this blog is going to be dedicated to all of those different hats that teachers wear throughout our careers.  I know I haven't been teaching long, but I know enough about teaching that I feel I can write about it, and I am finally going to follow my teachers' advice and write about what I know.